Spelling Tuesday

Have you ever sat in a church service and felt like the message was from God directly to you? I bawled all through church today, because I felt the holy spirit speaking to me so directly. The message was on prayer, and our pastor started the sermon by saying "Do any of you feel dissatisfied with your prayer life? Do you feel like your prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling? Do you feel like there is sometimes no point in praying, because nothing you pray for ever happens???" This is exactly what I have been going through lately. I look at this situation with our business at a stand still and I feel like God is just ignoring me. I pray and pray for a breakthough and just get frustrated because nothing happens. God really convicted me today. I am praying so selfishly. When was the last time that I came to God with no agenda? When I just wanted to chat and spend time with him without expecting something from him? Our pastor reminded us that God is not a genie in ...

Well, I am currently unemployed. My family has decided that we are NOT giving up on the tuscan ballroom, but we all need to get jobs, because we don't know WHEN it will be up and running. We still need a building. The awesome church building has no hope for being zoned commercial- much to our disappointment. So what is it that I can do?? The only thing I am qualified for is to teach- and I refuse to leave Loralie with anyone all day long. So I am going to try and teach preschool out of my home- uhg. Hopefully, it won't be so bad, only four kids and you can't beat the commute. And I would actually get to teach the way that I wanted to- creatively. No testing all the time, no meetings. So I will give it a shot. So if you know anyone in the Liberty area who needs childcare... Secondly, after a gluttonous Christmas, I have decided to start my new year's resolution early and lose this baby weight. I have 35 pounds to lose, but I can't really diet the way that...

This week we went to look at a building that may be the future home of the Tuscan Ballroom. It is actually a church on five acres, that is about ten minutes from my house. It is way more affordable than a new building, although a little smaller, and it will need some rennovations. The building is only six years old, though, so it is not in horrible condition. We are thinking about getting the main building rennovated the way that we want it, and then opening without doing the catering, just the bar- that way my dad can still work his day job for a while, until we start making a profit. The cool thing about this place is that we would OWN it instead of leasing, and it has so much possibility!!! We can eventually build a chapel and fix the whole site up however we want! So be praying, because for this to work there are several things that need to happen: 1. We have to get it zone commercial through the city (it already is through the county) 2. We have to get the loan for the bu...

Everyone tells you that a baby will change your life. There is sort of a negitive connotation to that, like you are never going to sleep again, go anywhere, etc. They always warn you about how much work a baby is, and how it will "change your relationship" with your spouse. So I am happy to say that I am blissfully happy being a mom! And even more that how fullfilling it is- it is FUN! Loralie does something brilliant or hilllarious each and every day! She never ceases to amaze me! Today she had a major crisis as she could not decide if she wanted her fist or her binky in her mouth. She tried one, then the other, then both! You could tell the wheels were really turning! It made me giggle. And she has already said her first word- you heard me correctly. At three months old ! She was crying the other night, and I went upstairs to get her. She wailed "CALEB!" twice, so clearly that he yelled "What?" from downstairs! He thought it was me! Ha! ...

Have you ever prayed and prayed and felt like you were just talking to a wall? I am in what some Christians would call a "wilderness" in my relationship with God right now. You know, like when God led the Isrealites out into the wilderness and they just sort of wandered around for fourty years? God has lead my family to start a business together. We prayed and prayed before we started (over two years ago). Things just seemed to fall into place. We got confirmation after confirmation that what we were doing was of God- and would be used as a ministry for him. We totally stepped out in faith- I quit my teaching job without really even thinking about a back up plan if the business didn't work out- Of Course it will work out- God told us to do it! Now, two years later, doors seem to be slamming in our faces. Everywhere we go people love the idea of our business, and go on and on about how good our plan is, yet all the banks just keep refusing to lend to developers for our bui...

Okay, I am a big Grey's fan...but this season is getting a little rediculous! Come on writers! You can't just bring back characters who are DEAD for peats sake! You can feature said character in flashbacks. You could even bring in dead characters long lost twin brother. But you can't just bring the dead guy back and have sex with him without some kind of explanation. Sure, Izzy is going crazy. Whatever. Also, kissing in a furnace room, over a vent is not hot- It is humid. Ha. The chemistry is just not there with Christina and crazy moody army surgeon. They keep trying to make them have these dramatic make out sessions, that just don't really come off right. And if I have to sit through one more Dr. Toress lesbian scene I am gonna puke! The only character I am even liking right now is the new Asburger's surgeon. At least she has a medical condition to explain her lack of wit and feeling...I mean I am like THIS CLOSE to saying goodbye to seatle grace!!!

I was reading the accounts of Jesus' trial and conviction today, and I started thinking about Barabas. Here was this guy who was in prison for murder, awaiting his execution. And then he finds out he is free, he can just walk away. Someone else is going to be executed in his place. I wonder if he had heard of Jesus, if he had formed an opinion about him before then. Did he feel guilty that someone else was paying for his crime? Could he hear the mob shouting for his release and Jesus' crucifixion? Did he feel at all conflicted about that? Did he go watch Jesus' execution? Or did he just celebrate his freedom? Isn't Barabas the picture of the gospel? We were all sentenced to death before Jesus took our place. Celebrate your freedom!